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Sed Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?
The trailer for Zack Snyder’s Watchmen is finally online. It looks like this is going to be worth the two-decade wait.
I don’t think Hollywood could have convincingly pulled-off the special effects back in the late eighties or early nineties when Sam Hamm, fresh off the success of writing the screenplay for Tim Burton’s Batman, was actively shopping his script for a Watchmen film.
I’m think we can assume that Snyder’s Watchmen will be much more faithful to Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s original graphic novel. Hamm’s treatment is, nonetheless, still worth reading.
In particular, it’s interesting how Hamm manages to communicate the counterfactual world that had evolved in the presence of a Dr. Manhattan:
A KID breaks free from his parents and sprints across the graves to join the excited throng. As he does, our attention settles on the VIETNAM WAR MEMORIAL.
It’s not the familiar stark black wall. It is, bizarrely, a chiseled marble representation of DR. MANHATTAN; his eyes are turned skyward, and he’s cradling a WOUNDED AMERICAN GRUNT in his massive arms, Pieta-style. On the pedestal beneath it, a bronze plaque bears the inscription:
IN MEMORY OF THE BRAVE AMERICANS WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES TO ACHIEVE VICTORY IN VIETNAM
Below it are the names of the American dead. There are almost four hundred of them.
In Snyder’s trailer, you actually see the ninety-foot-tall Dr. Manhattan walking through the Vietnam jungle.
That Is What My Youth Was For…
I’m a little skeptical of any claims regarding the Flynn Effect. Today’s kids just don’t seem that smart, particularly when they seem to need the help of Leslie Feist just to learn to count to four:
When I was a kid the Pointer Sisters helped me learn to count to twelve.
On a somewhat related note, check out this Sesame Street parody of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit from a few seasons back. It’s a little shocking that the folks at the Children’s Television Workshop were willing to reference a show about sex-crimes as source material for kids programming.
Yes, the Richard Belzer muppet is awesome.
CRM-114
In tonight’s episode of Heroes, a computer display briefly appeared onscreen showing a curator’s catalog code for a sword being held in a private collection. I immediately recognized the code (CRM-114) as a reference to the radio discriminator aboard the B-52 in Dr. Strangelove.
Shortly after the show aired I visited the Wikipedia page for CRM-114. I was a little surprised that someone had already edited the page to reflect the reference that had appeared on television less than an hour earlier.
The immediacy of Wikipedia astounds me.
Missed an Episode?
Most of the television networks are now offering free episodes of various programs online. They are usually posted the day after the episode is broadcast. You still have to watch commercials, but at least you can catch a show you missed without having to worry about getting caught illegally downloading from a torrent site.
ABC
- Brothers and Sisters
- Desperate Housewives
- Grey’s Anatomy
- Lost
- Men in Trees
- The Knights of Prosperity
- Ugly Betty
- What About Brian
ABC Family
CBS
FOX
- 24
- American Dad
- Bones
- Prison Break
- Standoff
- Talkshow with Spike Feresten
- ’til Death
- The Loop
- The War at Home
- Vanished
NBC
- 30 Rock
- Friday Night Lights
- Grease: You’re the One that I Want!
- Heroes
- Las Vegas
- My Name Is Earl
- Passions
- Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
- The Apprentice
The CW
- All of Us
- Beauty and the Geek
- Everybody Hates Chris
- Girlfriends
- One Tree Hill
- Supernatural
- The Game
- Veronica Mars
But Can I Get a Clam for a Neopet?
Wired offers some possible insight into why Neopets is so damn creepy:
Dohring brought two things to the company: expertise in market research and a deep commitment to the principles of Scientology. After college, he spent four years in Toledo working for the church in “counseling and communications.” In the writings of Scientology leader L. Ron Hubbard, Dohring discovered a business model that would later become the foundation of the Neopets operation. “He created a management technology that’s very powerful,” Dohring says. Hubbard’s companies follow a system of departmental organization called the Org Board, which he claimed was a refinement of one used by “an old Galactic civilization” that lasted 80 trillion years.
I bet that kind of management structure really helps with Sarbanes-Oxley compliance.
Would It Have Been a White Dashiki?
There is a wonderful Tom Wolfe quote from an upcoming book excerpted in the December issue of Esquire. We no longer have to wonder about the motivations behind his dandy manner of dress:
“I think the thing that really annoyed people was the nipped-in waist. That seemed unpatriotic, a real affectation…I could have attracted more attention to myself–I could have worn a dashiki, for example–but I wanted to be in the game. The important thing was, I wanted them to say, ‘Who in the name of God does he think he is?’”
Looks like he’s just screwing with us. Too cool.
Repet
So a Texas lady paid $50,000 to have her pet cat cloned. This is the result:
I’m a little conflicted about this. Part of me wants to condemn her for lunacy while another part of me is hoping the price falls (dramatically) before my cats kick it.
Shepherd in Wolf’s Clothing
I can just imagine the meeting where the marketing folks over at Transit Books were hunched over a mirror snorting coke thinking up new product lines:
Hmmm? Our focus groups and online polling show the number one reason teens don’t read the Bible is that it is “too big and freaky looking.” Why don’t we publish hip magazine-format editions of The New Testament. We can jazz them up to look like fashion and music magazines and insert cosmetics and relationship advice in the margins.
What Happened to George Lucas?
I picked up the director’s cut of George Lucas’s THX 1138 over the weekend.
I hadn’t seen the film in a number of years and I was blown away.
It’s actually quite remarkable how well the movie has aged. While other “dystopian-vision” sci-fi films from the 1970s look dated to the point of being almost laughable now (Logan’s Run, A Clockwork Orange, Soylent Green), THX 1138 looks as if it could have been made yesterday.
Robert Duvall’s performance was understated and brilliant. Walter Murch’s sound design was hypnotic and unyielding. The screenplay didn’t get in the way by awkwardly offering too much exposition (as is often the case in sci-fi films). And every shot was framed with obvious deliberation.
I’m going to make a few enemies here, but the experience left me wondering how such a talented filmmaker managed to produce Star Wars, an abomination of poor-acting and screenwriting rescued only through its sheer campiness.
Late Night Double Feature
The wife and I did a double feature at the Reston Town Center theater tonight. We saw National Treasure and Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. A few observations from the evening.
- National Treasure was basically just The Da Vinci Code without the heresy.
- Bridget Jones movies are the film equivalent of the “Cathy” comic strip in the newspaper. The funniest thing about the films is that they are based on the proposition that several men would actually fight over such a clingy and obnoxious emotional cripple.
- Despite the fact that they bear a superficial resemblance to Gummi Bears, Swedish Fish are not a suitable substitute.
Who Wrote This Stuff?
For the last week or so I haven’t been able to turn a radio dial without hearing Toby Keith and Willie Nelson singing “Beer for My Horses.”
I was a little shocked the first time I heard it on the radio. It’s pretty jingoistic even for Toby Keith. I’m actually a little surprised that Willie Nelson got involved, but it seems like he’ll do just about anything for a buck these days.
Selected lyrics follow, with my comments in italics:
Well, a man come on the 6 o’clock news, said somebody’s been shot, somebody’s been abused.
You mean like the prisoners at Abu Ghraib?
Grandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son, a man had to answer for the wicked that he done. Take all the rope in Texas, find a tall oak tree. Round up all of them bad boys hang them high in the street for all the people to see.
Ah… Sweet nostalgia for the days of public executions at the hands of the mob! Those were the good ol’ days.
We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces.
Did Willie Nelson and Toby Keith join the Superfriends?
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.
You know the PETA folks just love this song.
This little ditty has got to be pretty damn terrifying if you’re not an American because it confirms just about every anti-American stereotype out there.
Mark my words, it’s only a matter of time before some Italian DJ with a biting sense of irony remixes this into a European underground dance hit.
Disney’s Problems and Belleville
I just watched The Triplets of Belleville and I was quite impressed. If you haven’t already seen it, go buy the DVD. Don’t bother renting it–you won’t want to give it back.
The cameo appearances were particularly amusing. Tune incarnations of Glenn Gould, Josephine Baker, Fred Astaire, and Django Reinhardt are peppered throughout the picture. The attention to detail is uncanny and the effect is absolutely charming.
As of late, Disney’s management seems to be under the mistaken impression that their disappointing success with recent animated features is merely symptomatic of their need to transition away from 2D animation entirely.
Pixar’s films (which Disney currently distributes) don’t succeed simply because they’re produced in render-farms. They succeed because John Lasseter and his colleagues are creative geniuses who constantly stay focused on the story.
Hopefully, the success of The Triplets of Belleville has served as a wake-up call to Eisner and his cronies, who desperately need to understand that animation technology is irrelevant if the storytelling is good.
Stories from Cannes
My sister’s rough life working as a correspondent for the Associated Press in France includes the miserable task of covering the Cannes Film Festival on an annual basis. There are some absolutely riotous stories from this year’s festival in a story she wrote that hit the wire today.
My personal favorite involves Jean-Luc Godard calling Michael Moore “halfway intelligent.”
But I’ve known that for years.
Taxonomy
Lessons learned from David Barron’s “Hobo Glossary” in the liner notes of the Kronos Quartet’s CD recording of Harry Partch’s “U.S. Highball” (a hobo themed piece of avant-garde mid-century microtonal music):
- Hobos are migratory workers who wander from place to place.
- Tramps wander, but refuse to work on principle.
- Bums neither wander nor work.
Now I Hate Sofia Coppola Even More
I just saw Lost in Translation and I honestly don’t understand the appeal.
The cinematography was breathtaking, and the film could have been bearable had I chosen to view it with the sound muted. Instead, I somehow subjected myself to 102 minutes of watching an elitist directionless bitch and a washed-up actor “connect” by sharing their general malaise.
No stars.
Sed Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?
I don’t know how I missed this, but the Chicago Sun-Times printed some wonderful news two weeks ago in an article covering the box-office success of Hellboy:
“Hellboy” came in at No. 1, which means the producers of that film are busy getting another comic book adaptation to the big screen. “We’re going to do ‘The Watchmen,’” says producer Lloyd Levin. “It’s about a group of superheroes who reunite to figure out who is trying to kill them off.”
Now that I’ve got you twitching with anticipation I will suggest you go read the Sam Hamm screenplay–which I doubt they will actually use. The word on the street is that David Hayter has written an amazing adaptation.
For Those Who Think like Idiots
The following is a description of an iTunes/Pepsi commercial that will air during the Super Bowl:
Set in 1953, a young Jimi Hendrix seeks refreshment and must choose between a Pepsi and Coke machine. After buying a Pepsi and taking a drink, Hendrix has a revelation and a music legend is born.
I’m glad to see that Pepsi is doing their part to suck the remaining lifeblood out of Rock ‘n’ Roll. And shame on the Hendrix estate for allowing this to happen in the first place.
I Use the Fridrich Method, Too, Because I Am Fridrich
Remember the Rubik’s cube? Jessica Fridrich certainly does. She was one of the original pioneers of speed cubing in Eastern Europe during the early 80’s. She even developed a groundbreaking system for solving the cube. To this day, Fridrich can solve a randomized cube in an average of eighteen seconds.
Her website at SUNY Binghamton includes a section on speed cubing. In addition to providing resources for solving the cube, Fridrich also reflects on her last 20 years with the cube.
Of particular interest is a passage on her early attempts to acquire a cube through the black market while living in the Czech Republic in 1981:
I bought the cubes from an old lady who was selling magazines and souvenirs in the street. When I mentioned “Buvos Kocka” to her, she smiled, quickly looked left and right and handed it to me in a brown lunch bag, put her index finger across her mouth, and said “Shhh, one hundred and fifty Forints”.
Fridrich also tells a very amusing story about an encounter she had with another cuber (cubist?) while she was traveling on a train during college.
A guy was sitting next to me playing with the cube. I asked him about his system. He said: “I am using the Fridrich method.” I asked with a surprise in my voice: “You actually memorized ALL algorithms?” His answer was: “No, that’s too much. I know only some of them.” I replied with: “Well, you need to memorize all of them otherwise you are not really utilizing its strength.” He looked at me frawning and said with his mouth half open: “Yeah, so what’s your system?” I answered with a big smile: “I use the Fridrich method, too, because I am Fridrich.” He did not blink an eye, did not say anything and handed me his messed-up cube. I solved the cube in about 20 seconds to prove my words and we both laughed at the coincidence.
If I Only Had An Eye Patch
My wife and I just returned from Las Vegas, which has developed quite a respectable fine art presence. While we were there we saw:
- Steve Wynn’s personal collection, which includes works by Cezanne, Renoir, Manet, Monet, Picasso, Matisse, and Warhol. It used to be at the Bellagio, but is now housed on the site of his new resort, which is currently under construction.
- An exhibit of Andy Warhol’s celebrity portraits, with the audio tour narrated by Liza freaking Minelli. I expected her commentary to be annoying, but she knew Warhol quite well and it was actually quite informative.
- Another Pop Art exhibit at the Guggenheim Hermitage Museum in the Venetian. I particularly liked the soft sculptures by Claes Oldenburg.
- A stunning Dale Chihuly installation at the Bellagio, which is pictured below.
It’s You I Like
Mister Rogers passed away today at the age of 74 from stomach cancer.
I’m left speechless by the news.
I can’t think of another celebrity or stranger whose passing could possibly do this to me. There’s a flood of happy childhood memories that have hit me like a brick.
I don’t want to go to work today. I want to take a trip on a trolley to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe and visit Henrietta Pussycat, or see how crayons are made, or sing “You Are Special.” I want to remember Mister Rogers and how he made a difference.
