I have a special request to ask of you. I have become a semi-finalist in the second season of the “Apprentice” and have to list people as my “worst references.” It just requires a name and phone number. I was wondering if you would do me the honor?

When someone lists you as their “worst reference” should you be flattered or offended?

Everyone always warns about these weird side effects you can get, like anxiety attacks and going bonkers in general. The only weird thing I’ve had is some pretty intense dreams. Last night I thought there were ducks and frogs in my bed. Then I dreamed that I went to the orthodontist to have my bottom retainer wire taken out, and all my teeth fell out. Apparently, the teeth-falling out dream is one of the most common. It supposedly signals a feeling of powerlessness. I wonder what it means if you think ducks are in your bed–can’t find anything on that one.

To paraphrase Freud: Sometimes a duck is just a duck.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, for the record, that I don’t think this kind of marketing is going to become too prevalent in the future. People smell this kind of thing a mile away. Look at the outrage this cow shit caused today–the marketing droids definitely won’t want a repeat performance of this one.

However, I thing this Raging Cow marketing campaign was brilliant, nonetheless.

Nobody knew what Raging Cow was yesterday. By being the first to upset the standards and sensibilities of a particular emerging medium, Dr (no period) Pepper was able to effectively make Raging Cow the discussion topic of the day in that medium. If you don’t believe me, just look at Blogdex.

Pissing people off is generally a good way to get attention. I have no doubt that major media outlets from Playboy to The Wall Street Journal will soon pick up the story and run with it. Later this week people who have never even visited a weblog will read all about Raging Cow’s new marketing campaign.

Part of me has always believed that Paula Jones was the reason Bill Clinton was able to get elected in 1992. The scandal gave Clinton the media exposure he needed to win name recognition early in the campaign.

This weblog fiasco may just give Raging Cow the name recognition it needs to make a strong entry in the cutthroat non-alcoholic beverage market.

When Home Media Option debuts, it’s going to kick some serious ass. I just hope I’ll be able to access my iTunes playlists from the TiVo.

Looks like Santa has relocated to Basalt, Colorado.

Dear God I hope there won’t be too many issues resulting from the upgrades. Unfortunately, only time will tell.

Tonight I learned my sister Katie will be attending a summer program at Georgetown University. It should be pretty cool. It will be fun to show her around. Erin and I will have to keep her out of trouble.

Main Entry: ^1prob·lem
Pronunciation: ‘prä-bl&m, -b^{&m, -”blem}
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English probleme, _from Middle French, from Latinproblema, from Greek _problEma, _literally, obstacle, from _proballeinto throw forward, from _pro- _forward + _ballein _to throw — more at PRO-, DEVIL
Date: 14th century
1 a : a question raised for inquiry, consideration, or solution b : a proposition in mathematics or physics stating something to be done
2 a : an intricate unsettled question b : a source of perplexity, distress, or vexation c : difficulty in understanding or accepting
synonym see MYSTERY

If you look carefully at the above entries from Merriam-Webster Online, you might notice these two words have different meanings. When we allow the practitioners of corporate doublespeak to use the former when they really mean the latter, we do a grave injustice to our language. Know it. Learn it. Live it.